People love a finished product. A success story. A “before and after” photo.
But what they often ignore is the middle. The messy, uncertain, unrecognised part of the journey.
Society Doesn't See the Steps
If you’re working on yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally or some skill to improve yourself. Chances are, most people won’t take it seriously until there’s something obvious to show. Like a dramatic body transformation. A new career title. A bank balance.
It doesn’t matter that you’ve been waking up at 5am. Or showing up to therapy. Or grinding out your art while broke.
Until you “arrive,” it’s like none of it counts.
This is called societal lag. It’s the delay between your effort and the world’s recognition.
Building Boundaries Early
Once you realise that approval will only come later, if it comes at all. You stop waiting for it. You start building internal boundaries. Not walls to shut people out, but filters to stop their ridicule and doubt from sinking in.
Think of someone overweight who starts going to the gym. People might stare, mock, or dismiss it. Not because they’re doing something wrong, but because the world only values outcomes, not effort.
And that’s when the work is the hardest. When the habit isn’t formed yet, when self-belief is still fragile.
The Hardest Part Comes First
The beginning of any change is brutal. You’re fighting inertia, doubt, and often silence.
No applause. No validation. Just discipline. But once it becomes a habit, it gets lighter. Not easier, necessarily. But more automatic.
The weight shifts from mental struggle to routine.
One Step At A Time
You don’t need to prove anything to anyone right now.
Focus on one thing. Then another. Stack your wins quietly.
This stage also acts as a bullshit filter.
Watch who shows up for you during the process.
The ones who check in, encourage you, support the ugly middle. That’s your circle.
The ones who reappear only when you’ve “made it”, you’ll know what they’re about.
Keep Moving, Even After the Finish Line
Here’s the truth: there is no finish line.
Just more steps. More growth. More change. So don’t freeze your life waiting for applause.
Move with the people who walked beside you, not the ones waiting at the end.
Because it’s not about being seen. It’s about becoming.
Thank you for reading, and if you found a part of this useful. Share so it can help others.
Also go come check out my channel on YouTube
